Key Takeaways
- Treat people with dementia with respect and avoid talking down to them, which is sometimes called “elderspeak.”
- Communicate clearly using simple language and ensure your tone is respectful, avoiding slang or figures of speech.
- Make eye contact and speak from the same height level as your loved one (seated, for example).
Communicating with someone who is living with Alzheimer’s disease or another dementia can sometimes be a challenge. That’s because one of the hallmark symptoms of dementia, along with memory loss, is difficulty expressing ideas (such as in word-finding problems) or in understanding them (often called receptive communication).
Here are a few tips for success when talking with someone who is living with dementia.
Hero Images DigitalVision / Getty Images
Don’t Infantilize the Person
Avoid talking down to the person or treating them like a child, also known as “elderspeak.”
Consider how people often speak to babies, using high-pitched tones and getting close to their faces. While this may be suitable for infants, it is not appropriate when communicating with adults. Treat the person with dementia with respect and maintain a respectful tone, regardless of their level of understanding.
Use Their Names and Preferred Titles
Learn and use the person’s preferred name. Avoid using terms like “honey” or “sweetheart,” which, despite affectionate intent, may seem demeaning or patronizing.
Use Gentle Touch
While some individuals might be uncomfortable with their personal space being invaded, many appreciate gentle physical contact. It’s important to understand how someone responds to touch. A light pat on the shoulder or holding their hand can effectively convey that you care.
Don’t Just Talk Loudly
Not everyone with dementia has hearing issues, and speaking loudly can feel like yelling. Start conversations in a clear, normal tone.
If someone doesn’t respond or you suspect a hearing problem, you can increase your volume. Lowering your vocal pitch may also help.
Don’t Use Slang or Figures of Speech
As dementia progresses, it can become harder for someone to understand what you’re trying to tell them. For example, telling a loved one with Alzheimer’s disease that it’s “no use crying over spilled milk” might result in him looking to see where the milk has spilled, rather than end up comforting him or encouraging him not to focus on a past problem.
In fact, the proverb interpretation test, which asks the test taker to interpret abstract ideas such as the spilled milk reference above, is one way to screen for symptoms of dementia.
Don’t Ignore the Person
If you have a question, ask the individual first to give him a chance to respond before turning to their family for an answer. Also, don’t talk about the person as if they’re not there. They might understand more than you give them credit for, so convey your respect by addressing them directly.
Position Yourself at Their Level
Rather than standing up straight and looking down to someone who may be seated, bend down to be at the same level as they are. This might make you less comfortable physically, but it will facilitate a more comfortable and respectful conversation.
Avoid Interrogating
Limit your questions to just a few. Your goal is to encourage and provide encouragement during your visit, not to fire endless questions at them that may be difficult to answer.
Smile and Make Eye Contact
In dementia, a genuine smile can reduce the chance of challenging behaviors since the person may feel reassured by your non-verbal communication. A warm smile and eye contact convey that you enjoy being with them and are crucial for effective communication.
Frequently Asked Questions
-
What communication techniques you should use when talking with a person with dementia?Use nonverbal cues when speaking with someone with dementia. Make sure they can see your face. Maintain a relaxed and positive demeanor. Don’t interrupt or finish their sentences. Speak slowly and clearly, keeping your tone gentle and patient.
-
What should you avoid when talking to someone with dementia?Do not remind someone with dementia of their memory problems. If they forget something, apologize as if you forgot to tell them. Avoid arguing or trying to reason, and don’t challenge them about memory issues. Limit questions about recent events or names, and don’t take forgetfulness personally. Instead, offer brief explanations, accept blame, reassure them, and use distractions like changing the topic or engaging them in simple tasks, like folding laundry.
:max_bytes(150000):strip_icc()/Esther-Heerema-MSW-1000-e5257556bb40418ebee7e4b1c7a99420.jpg)