Eliminate Unnecessary Energy Drains
Step 1: Track How You Spend Your Time
Also pay attention to which activities energize you and which ones don’t affect you either way, says Rua. For example, you might notice that grocery shopping leaves you exhausted, while a short walk with a friend lifts your spirit. Seeing these patterns can help you decide what adjustments you’d like to make.
Then ask yourself whether there are other activities you’d rather be doing instead, says Sydney Brehany, MD, a board-certified oncologist at Mission Cancer and Blood, part of Iowa Health Care. Make a list of what feels most important in this phase of your life and let that guide your choices, she says.
Step 2: Cut Out, Delegate, or Simplify the Rest
After identifying what drains you and what matters most, the next step is figuring out what can be eliminated, handed off, or simplified, says Dr. Brehany. Some activities may simply not be worth the energy they take in this phase of your life. That might mean skipping optional commitments and giving yourself permission to stop doing things that no longer serve you.
Still, eliminating energy drains isn’t always easy. It’s often a balance between what truly needs to get done versus old routines or what feels expected by others, explains Brehany. Just because something feels like it should get done does not mean it actually needs to be done. Allow yourself to release those expectations to help protect your energy.
“If a task is on the horizon, ask yourself whether it’s something you need to complete or if it can be delegated to a family member, friend, or colleague,” says Brehany. While asking for help can be difficult, people around you most likely want to lend a hand, but they just don’t know how to start, she says. So be specific about what you need. For example, ask questions like these:
- “Could you pick up a few things at the grocery store for me?”
- “Would you be able to drive me to treatment next Tuesday?”
- “Can you handle the dishes after dinner?”
Look for ways to reduce effort where possible. Consider using meal prep services or grocery delivery instead of shopping in person; try automating bill payments or hiring someone to clean your house once or twice a month.
If extra help is not an option financially or logistically, consider simplifying your expectations. “Do things that are important and urgent,” says Gary Deng, MD, PhD, a professor of medicine and the director of integrative oncology at UCI Health. Let go of things that are urgent but not important, and postpone tasks that matter but can wait, he says.
This might mean changes like the following:
- Laundry gets done, but folding it perfectly can wait (or not happen at all).
- Meals are simple and nutritious, not elaborate.
- The house is clean enough, not spotless.
- You return the most important calls and texts, and let others know you’ll get back to them when you can.
Palliative care teams can also help identify resources and find creative ways to manage symptoms while keeping your personal goals at the forefront of your care, says Brehany. See if your clinic offers these services and other support programs to help with tasks like cooking, cleaning, transportation, and other daily needs.
Step 3: Plan Your Day Around Times of Peak Energy
Brehany recommends planning what needs to be done at the beginning of the day or the night before.
If possible, keep these tips in mind:
- Avoid scheduling too many activities on the same day.
- Plan demanding tasks during the time of day when you tend to feel your best.
- Take breaks to avoid pushing through exhaustion.
Embrace your new normal, says Rua. The routines and expectations that worked before your diagnosis may no longer fit your life now, and that’s okay.