One factor to consider regarding improving your sex life after menopause? Ensuring you’re doing what you can to manage specific menopause symptoms that may hamper your ability to get in the mood or enjoy yourself in bed. With that in mind, you’ll find five tips below to help improve your postmenopausal sex life.
1. Hormone Replacement Therapy
Hormone replacement therapy (HRT) can go a long way toward reducing menopause symptoms like night sweats and hot flashes, improving sleep, and boosting your mood. “Hormone therapy with estrogen is a well-established treatment for menopause symptoms,” says Anna Kirby, MD, an obstetrician and gynecologist at UW Medicine in Seattle.
HRT can have risks for some people, so talk to your doctor about whether it’s right for you.
2. Topical Estrogen
Hormone replacement therapy on its own may not do enough to improve your sex life, especially if sex is painful, Dr. Kirby says: “Patients who are taking systemic hormone therapy with estrogen can usually benefit from adding topical vaginal estrogen as well.”
She adds that topical estrogen in the vagina — whether it’s a cream, tablet, or ring — is safe for almost every woman and can be used even in combination with systemic hormones to ease other menopause symptoms like night sweats.
Patience is key, however, because it can take several months of using vaginal estrogen to determine whether it helps enough to make a positive difference in your sex life after menopause.
“Vaginal estrogen can thicken vaginal tissue and restore elasticity, both of which can make sex less painful and more enjoyable,” Kirby explains. “It can take several months to make the vaginal tissues less sensitive, so I recommend women try it for at least three months before determining if it helped or not.”
3. Moisturizers and Lube
Lubricants work best if they’re applied before sex. Streicher says products made from silicone are more slippery and comfortable than water-based options, which can be more irritating.
You can also use long-acting vaginal moisturizers to help reduce vaginal dryness and painful intercourse. Like moisturizers you use for dry skin elsewhere on your body, vaginal moisturizers work best when applied daily.
“When you think about all the changes that happen in terms of sexual function [as a result of menopause], vaginal dryness is the one I hear about the most,” Streicher says. “Lubricants and moisturizers can go a long way.”
4. Sex Toys and Masturbation
All of the changes menopause brings can render components of sex you used to find pleasurable less effective.
One challenge is that as you age, it can take longer for blood to fill your genitals, making you less sensitive to touch and making it harder to experience sexual pleasure and orgasm. Activities that increase blood flow to your vagina, whether it’s masturbating or using sex toys, can help increase sensitivity and pleasure during sex.
5. Good Communication
Good communication with your partner is good for your sex life at any age, but it’s especially important during times like the menopausal transition, when your body is going through changes that alter how sex feels.
Often, a lack of desire is at least in part connected to relationship issues or physical and emotional changes that both you and your partner may be experiencing as you age, Streicher says.
When it comes to intercourse, talking to your partner about different positions that let you control penetration can be one way to help make sex more pleasurable. Date nights and doing things to improve communication outside the bedroom can also be good for your sex life.
“Part of this conversation is redefining what sex means to you,” Streicher says. “In your twenties everything might be about intercourse and orgasm. Sexuality may not look the same after menopause, and you may have a new normal. But that doesn’t need to be a bad thing, and you can still have a satisfying sex life.”